OK, scribe, little buddy, start writing. Finish this one off and I’ll finally let you get back to your rotting little hovel in the forest. “Really Boss?” Yup! This is it. It’s my last chronicle entry because … I’M A FREAKING CHAMPION!!! AGAIN!!
For some, a win is a win. For others, a tie is a win. For others, a loss is a win if the other team was severely mangled. However, for a tournament, a win is a win, a tie is a tie, and a loss is a loss. Having come off winning the Waterloo Blood Bowl League, and after enjoying several days on the Tilean beaches thanks to our sponsor, Taureau Amiral, the River City Gunners entered a charity tournament, Bosom Bowl V.
Yeah, I know you haven’t heard from me in a while. That’s because I’ve had to do a bit of in-cave arse-kicking. Things had been going a bit shite in the league, being out-Casualtied by our opponents in two of the last three matches. My people tell me the Bytown Maulers are down to twenty-sixth in the standings. That sort of thing’s unacceptable, obviously. So I did some arse-bootin’. And all this to say, I’ve straightened the Lads out!
It is important to note that during playoffs, stress, anxiety, and fear can cripple players, coaches, teams, and owners. Being of the nobility myself, I feel like I can speak on how the weight of playoffs can affect an Imperial Nobility team. In short, it doesn’t. And this is because the importance of these games is only countered by our own importance. We aren’t ‘happy’ we reached the playoffs, the playoffs should be happy that we decided to bless the games with our presence. Now, my dear readers, sit back with a nice Tilean cigarro, a Bordeleaux 2481, and read on with the exploits of the River City Gunners.
OK, scribe, little buddy, start writing. Good day loyal reader. So, I promised you a while back I’d explain to you how I, the great Gorn N’hleg, would build a team of Black Orcs for tourneys. Well, this is the chronicle entry that’ll do just that. Lys Bowl’s comin’ up and I want to win it! There’s some good prizes and it’s being held in a colony of Bretonnia, so there’s likely to be some decent wine. ague players don’t like playin’ in tourneys, I spoke to Ad’amm and Fillip about comin’ on-board … oh, and Slag, too, ’cause he can tackle. Havin’ a tackler in a tourney’s always a good thing. It’s a pity Black Orcs ain’t quick … that’ll be a problem for your tackler, but you’re still better havin’ one. And I’ll get to the business about a quick tackler a bit later when I speak about what kinda Gobbos you want on your team.
Now that all of our theory and thoughts have been laid down, it’s time to see how they are measured in practice. As Djimm Thorp once said, “Everyone has a plan until they get tackled.”
OK, scribe, little buddy, start writing. Good day loyal reader. So, I promised you a while back I’d explain to you how I, the great Gorn N’hleg, would build a team of Black Orcs for tourneys. Well, this is the chronicle entry that’ll do just that. Lys Bowl’s comin’ up and I want to win it! There’s some good prizes and it’s being held in a colony of Bretonnia, so there’s likely to be some decent wine. ague players don’t like playin’ in tourneys, I spoke to Ad’amm and Fillip about comin’ on-board … oh, and Slag, too, ’cause he can tackle. Havin’ a tackler in a tourney’s always a good thing. It’s a pity Black Orcs ain’t quick … that’ll be a problem for your tackler, but you’re still better havin’ one. And I’ll get to the business about a quick tackler a bit later when I speak about what kinda Gobbos you want on your team.
OK, scribe, little buddy, start writing. Good day. I’m BAAAAAACK! Yeah, Orcling, yeah! I got some rest after the frickin’ disaster that was last season. I did some big game hunting and deep sea fishing. I bagged myself a pair of unicorns on land and a school of mermaids at sea. I can tell you I ate and ate until my rage subsided. I even threw a few tasty morsels around, including my little buddy scratching my words down with the cockatrice feather dipped in the blood of my kills.
Now that all of our theory and thoughts have been laid down, it’s time to see how they are measured in practice. As Djimm Thorp once said, “Everyone has a plan until they get tackled.”
OK, you ready, scribe? Good. Start writing. Good day. So … Yeah … My Accounts Goblin tells me that the contract I signed with Taureau Amiral stipulates I actually have to see this chronicle thing through ’til the end. Right.
