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Gorn N’hleg

Gorn N’hleg is a renowned and titled Orc coach. Having grown tired of coaching his usual teams, full of show-off Blitzers and prima-donna Throwers, he embarks on a new journey of professional and personal growth: coaching Black Orcs. How could such a journey go unchronicled? So here is The Gorn N’hleg Chronicle to be released on a regular basis over the coming year, humorously documenting his highs and lows.

I’m Back, Orcling, Back!

OK, scribe, little buddy, start writing. Good day. I’m BAAAAAACK! Yeah, Orcling, yeah! I got some rest after the frickin’ disaster that was last season. I did some big game hunting and deep sea fishing. I bagged myself a pair of unicorns on land and a school of mermaids at sea. I can tell you I ate…

Put Me Out of My Misery

OK, you ready, scribe? Good. Start writing. Good day. So ... Yeah ... My Accounts Goblin tells me that the contract I signed with Taureau Amiral stipulates I actually have to see this chronicle thing through ’til the end. Right.

.500

How dare you call me a liar!?! You little maggot! I should pull out my codpiece and slap you stupid with it! What? It’s not you but the Minotaur what’s callin’ me a liar? Well … I suppose he is paying me a fair bit’o’swag for you idiot scribes to scratch that there parchment with a cockatrice…

No Pre-Season

WHADDYA MEAN, “NO PRE-SEASON”? No! Go away! I meant it you little maggot! Not now! Bugger off! I don’t care if I’ve gotta contract! Woe betide he who in his pride and arrogance angers the little Goblin scribe. For this latter shall write what he seeth fit into the most valuable chronicle of the…

Style of Play: Defence

Right, so you’ve got a team, you’ve got a game plan for when you’re team’s on offence, now you need one for when your team’s on defence. So, last time out I talked about how your Boyz’ll need to have your way of playing beaten into their thick noggins and how the challenge will be getting a pack of…

Style of Play: Offence

OK, once you’ve built your team of Black Orcs, you’re gonna have to beat your way of playing want into their thick noggins. This means you’ve gotta do the hard work on the training pitch. Yeah, I know, the Boyz is lazy and the Gobbos even worse.

How to Build a Band of Boys for League Play

It’s a heavy burden but I bear it. It’s a weight on my shoulders but also a beast that pursues me. It’s an elixir that gives me energy and a codpiece that restrains me. Thus it is to be Gorn N’hleg. You see, I’m no ordinary Orc. I’m literate, for one thing. I mean, I can’t actually scratch parchment…

I’m Cursed With Success

It’s a heavy burden but I bear it. It’s a weight on my shoulders but also a beast that pursues me. It’s an elixir that gives me energy and a codpiece that restrains me. Thus it is to be Gorn N’hleg. You see, I’m no ordinary Orc. I’m literate, for one thing. I mean, I can’t actually scratch parchment…