Blood Bowl Wisdom According to Nuffle

From a discussion between Nuffle, the god of Blood Bowl, and two of his followers.

Nuffle: My followers, this is my Blood Bowl game that I created for you. Come on, play and have fun.

Roze-El: But what is fun is different for everyone!

Nuffle: So, find your own fun.

Mungk: I like game statistics.

Nuffle: Knowing game statistics will not make you a good coach.

Roze-El: Me, I don’t know what statistics are.

Nuffle: Ignoring statistics will make you a bad coach.

Roze-El: On the other hand, look Nuffle, I only play the safest actions first!

Nuffle: And you miss beautiful opportunities.

Roze-El: It’s because I’m afraid of rolling too many dices!

Nuffle: Try to roll even less, but do not be afraid to do it at the right time.

Mungk: Arrghh ! All my players are dying!

Nuffle: 1 in 6 odds of failing doesn’t mean it will succeed. Also, never trust an elf.

Mungk: But I play Skaven!

Nuffle: All that has an agility of 4 is an elf. Gutter Runners are dangerous elves.

Roze-El: I play Elves and I’m losing!

Nuffle: One elf is enough to beat anyone. Two elves is killing a snotling with a chainsaw.

Roze-El: I have enough! Next time, I’m going to play Dwarves!

Nuffle: It’s not because everyone hates Dwarves that they’re unbeatable.

Mungk: I never have a good plan!

Nuffle: Without a good plan, a bad plan can work.

Mungk: It’s rather that I do not have a plan at all!

Nuffle: So, be lucky!

Mungk: I’m giving up!

Nuffle: To be lucky, you have to try.

Roze-El: But, Nuffle, you make me fail all my long dice rolls sequences!

Nuffle: To fail a long dice rolls sequence is not my fault. Succeeding a long dice rolls sequence and failing a second one on the last 2+, that’s my fault.

Roze-El: So it’s Mungk’s fault if I’m unlucky! He never fails anything!

Nuffle: Your bad luck is not your opponent’s fault. Nor is his good luck his fault.

Munck: Roze-El is right. I too find him really unlucky!

Nuffle: Listen to me, Roze-El. Munck might say so, but he doesn’t think you’re as unlucky as you say. Nor does he think he’s as lucky as you say.

Roze-El: I persist in saying that I’m unlucky.

Nuffle: It’s rather that I often reward thoughtful gameplays. Attempt another 1 dice block without skills and I’ll penalize you 1 time out of 3. However, if you throw a 2 dices block with the Block skill against an unskilled player, I’ll reward you with a POW 3 times out of 4. But also, never forget that if I’m moody, I’ll penalize you 1 time out of 36 without any valid reasons.

Roze-El: It’s unfair! How will we win, we who play lightly?

Nuffle: Hummm… For you, I’ll reward the impossible 1 time out of 6.

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